You Don’t Have to Settle for a Job. Here’s What You Can Do.

Woman talking in group of people sitting on couch

Job shaming.

Job shaming is real. People complain about their jobs on a daily basis and it’s not thought to be abnormal.

There are some who are very fortunate to be doing what they love to do. But don’t neglect their hard work. The perfect job doesn’t just fall into your lap, and even if it did, you must put forth effort every day to keep yourself on the correct path.

You see, successful people don’t coast along. There are many early mornings and late nights. There are failures along the way. There are doubts. But the point is, they keep going. They don’t give up. They don’t say “I can’t.” And neither should you.

You are not stuck in your current situation. Your mind is stuck. Change your mindset.

“If you think you can, you can. And if you think you can’t…you’re right.” -Henry Ford

Don’t believe us?

J.K. Rowling – Before becoming the world’s first billionaire author, J.K. Rowling’s literature was rejected several times. She was a divorced, single mother on welfare. She was diagnosed with clinical depression and contemplated suicide. She didn’t surrender to her situations, she persisted.

Madonna – A college dropout, she moved to New York with $35 in her pocket. It was her first plane ride and first time ever in a taxi. She worked as a waitress at Dunkin’ Donuts while she actively engaged in singing and dancing gigs on the side. She faced challenges head on and didn’t give up.

Ursula Burns – Ursula was raised by a single mother in a housing project in Manhattan. Both of her parents were Panamanian immigrants. She didn’t let her circumstances dictate her future, she made her future.

Mediocre is good enough.

Most individuals choose mediocre over pursuit of fulfillment for many reasons. Fear of the unknown, embarrassed to fail, or the most common, comfort and convenience.

So even though their current job is satisfactory at best, most people will opt for staying rather than making the changes necessary to lead a more gratifying life.

“If you’re too comfortable, it’s time to move on. Terrified of what’s next? You’re on the right track.” -Susan Fales-Hill

People fear what they don’t know, so they decide to stay at a job simply because there is no risk, however, we all know that a job can come and go in the blink of an eye. Don’t be afraid to challenge yourself to go outside of your comfort zone. Be afraid of becoming complacent and having no backup plan.

“I always did something I was a little not ready to do. I think that’s how you grow.” -Marissa Mayer

Is it really that easy?

Yes and no.

No because it requires change and we all know change is not easy. There is a good article written by Heidi Grant Halvorson, Ph.D. about why we don’t like change. Basically, subconsciously people associate change with unreliable.

We get it. When you have people relying on you and your paycheck to feed them, changing careers is a scary thought. When you are barely making ends meet, the very idea of starting over is the last thing you can handle.

But…what if on the other side of those fears lies a better life for you? We humans spend a lot of time at our place of employment. The average person spends 90,000 hours at work over their lifetime. Don’t you think you should spend that time doing something you find enjoyment out of? Life is not meant to live for your next day off.

And now the yes part. Yes, it is really that easy. You replace the word “can’t” with will. You will find a way to make it happen. You will come out on top. You will be happy. Once again, mindset.

Easier said than done? Not necessarily.

The only thing that is difficult is changing your belief. That is what you will have to break through. We are not licensed psychologists, so we are not going to even start getting into how to train your brain to start thinking differently. What we are is experienced. We have learned many lessons along the way and want to share some successes with you.

Here are 5 tips we find helpful when you are ready for more:

  1. Replace the negative. We are focusing on those who are influencing your world. You become like the 5 people you spend time with. Pay attention to their outlook, how they speak, what they think. Replace the negative with logical encouragement.
  2. Know what you want. Don’t just say you want a job with perks, define what those perks are. Know exactly what you want and write it down.
  3. Never stop learning. Ever. Never ever. Did we mention never?
  4. Baby steps. If you aren’t ready to take the full plunge, start small. Get yourself some small wins under your belt. Keep going.
  5. Embrace failure. We will leave this last step in the hands of Ekaterina.

It seems that failure tends to be more public than success. Or at least that’s what we perceive it to be. We fret it, we try to avoid it, and we question ourselves every time we have unconventional ideas. But the simple truth is – no great success was ever achieved without failure. It may be one epic failure. Or a series of failures – such as Edison’s 10,000 attempts to create a light bulb or Dyson’s 5,126 attempts to invent a bagless vacuum cleaner. But, whether we like it or not, failure is a necessary stepping stone to achieving our dreams. –Ekaterina Walter

Don’t just wish your career was better and continue typing away in your cubicle. Your situation won’t change due to good luck and fortune. You must make things happen.

So, what are you doing about it?


Contact us at TheClarks.Consulting@gmail.com.

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Women – Stop Saying “I’m Sorry”

Black and white comic drawing of woman winking and words saying "sorry not sorry"

“I’m sorry.” How many times a day do you think you say those two words? Ever stop to think about it? I am going to challenge you to a little experiment. Take notice of how many times you say you are sorry. I guarantee it you apologize for things you don’t even need to apologize for! I am serious. Try it tomorrow and report back.

Generally speaking, every time you say you are sorry, you are admitting a fault, right? You have made some sort of error that now warrants an admission of wrongdoing. But what about things that are just flat-out ridiculous to apologize for? Below is a list from Greatist of 7 things you should absolutely stop apologizing for and I agree with every single one of them:

  • Telling the truthwomen say i'm sorry too much
  • Your feelings
  • Appearance
  • Me time
  • Asking a question
  • Other people’s behavior
  • Not responding immediately to a text, call, or email
  • Circumstances you can’t control

Hey, if I accidentally bump into you while you have your drink in your hand and you spill it all over your shirt, I honestly do feel bad, and yes, I will say I am sorry. And if I have wronged you, I will own that. But apologizing for not having a great hairdo that day, no. And don’t even get me started on being made to feel guilty for having some me time. Do you know what message you are sending by always saying “I’m sorry?” You are saying to others that you are not confident, you are unsure, you are timid. Ugh.

By the by, would you like to know who the biggest culprit is in all these apologies? Women. It’s like women have this need to apologize, thinking that by doing so, people will like them better. Here’s the mentality: “If I say I am sorry, then it makes me look sincere and caring, and not too bossy, then I will be accepted and liked.” Heaven forbid women don’t play the dainty, polite, little lady, who sits quietly in the corner as to not disturb anyone. Amy Schumer nailed it in a sketch titled I’m Sorry. “For many women, our default is to apologize without even realizing it.” Which brings me to my earlier question: How many times a day do you think you say “I’m sorry?”

stop saying sorry

The flip side to this epidemic is it is fixable. You just need to rewire your way of brain a bit. Tweaks here and there. Make yourself aware. Listen to yourself in conversations. Replace “I’m sorry for bothering you, but…,” with, “When you have a free moment, can we speak?” Replace “I’m sorry.” Find other ways to communicate your message. Have some confidence in yourself!

No, you are NOT sorry.


Contact me at TheClarks.Consulting@gmail.com

 

 

Define Success on Your Own Terms

Define success on your own terms with peach background

Society Has Ideas

Society says you are successful if you have A, B, C and D. Basically, defining what success is for you and everyone else. How about defining success on your own terms?

What does it look like for you to be successful? What do you want to achieve for yourself and your personal satisfaction? To answer this, you will need to erase what has been ingrained in you for so long.

It Takes Thought

Everyone has a different idea of success, and that is great! That means there are an unlimited number of positive outcomes. What is important to figure out is, what is your idea of success is and why? Do you have a clear idea or are you comparing it to someone else?

Make things happen in three black stacked boxes with white background

Constantly looking at other’s success and gauging yours off that will lead to disappointment. Do you really want someone else to define it for you? To define your journey? You will never know how to achieve real success if it’s not yours. Admire others, but don’t use their ambition as yours.

So, what does it look like for you? How do you figure it out?

  1. Realistic. You must be realistic. You can dream, and please do! Just acknowledge what’s realistic and what is a once in a million chance. Side note, it is ok to want both.
  2. Yours. Make sure you are using your passions and not anyone else’s. Don’t allow someone to define what your path is.
  3. Time. Give yourself time to weave through the clutter but also make sure you set a timeline. Giving yourself time frames will ensure you stay the course and, it is proven that you will be much more likely to achieve your goal.
  4. In Your Face. Make sure you know what your success looks like and then make sure that is in your sight every day, literally. Cut out photos, create a Pinterest board, have a background on your laptop. Do what it takes so that you see your goals daily. Side note number 2; vision boards are widely effective. Ask any successful person. I guarantee you they have one.
  5. Expect Failure, More than Once. You are going to fail. Guess what, you aren’t the only one. Don’t believe me? Take a couple of minutes to read about others you know who weren’t an instant success.
  6. Don’t Compare Someone Else’s Phase. This is big. Just because Joe Bob has 3 homes and a private jet while you’re warming up your Lean Cuisine for dinner in your one-bedroom apartment doesn’t mean you aren’t successful.

Don't compare poster in black frame and white background

Know what else, start now. Begin anywhere. Do what you can.


Let me know what you think and share your stories! TheClarks.Consulting@gmail.com

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