Women, Master Your Confidence!

Woman smiling in sweater

Why do so many women lack confidence?

If you ask those around you, you might find similar answers to that question. They feel like frauds, like they aren’t good enough, they don’t possess the skills and abilities, they are they compare, they are perfectionists.

Everyone is different and all facing unique challenges, but as a whole, why do women let their confidence sink so drastically?

From authors Claire Shipman and Katty Kay of The Confidence Code:

For years, we women have kept our heads down and played by the rules. We’ve been certain that with enough hard work, our natural talents would be recognized and rewarded.

Would you say you can relate to that statement?

The problem is, keeping your head down and always playing by the rules leaves little room for standing up in the boardroom presenting your ideas. Meek does not command a room.

Women need to start taking action and changing what has been ingrained in them for so long.

First let’s address 3 vocabulary no nos.

Stop saying “sorry,” “can’t,” and “just.”

“I’m Sorry.” I wrote an article on this that you can find here. Basically, by always saying “sorry”, you portray you are not confident and unsure about your expertise. There is no need to start sentences with “I’m sorry” unless you are actually sorry for some sort of wrongdoing. Communicate with confidence.

Communicate with confidence.

“I can’t.” That is one quick way to diminish yourself and your abilities. Stop telling yourself it can’t be done, that you can’t accomplish x, y, and z. Replace “can’t” with the word “will” and notice a change in your mindset.

“Just.” This is another subtle word that undermines your confidence. It is also a filler word. It takes up space, has little value, and weakens your message.

The Comparison Trap.

Very dangerous territory here. Have you heard the quote, “comparison is the thief of joy”?

In the right context, comparison is helpful, but an unhealthy amount will only rob you of many joys, one being confidence.

Focus on your strengths. On your skills. On your successes. If there is an area you need to make improvements on, find ways to do so. Redirect the energy spent comparing yourself to others and use that time to develop yourself.

Recognize comparison triggers. Are you comparing your current professional status to a peer? Why? Do they receive recognition from others that you would like as well? Ask yourself why, then dissect your answer. Get to the root and once you have that answer, find a solution. Your coworker is constantly getting praised because of their successful business practices, so what best practices can you start incorporating?

Not Good Enough.

You might even feel it right now. That you aren’t good enough.

More than 80% of women believe they aren’t good enough. That is a high percentage.

There is usually an underlying reason. Digging to the root of that can be time-consuming, and as I have stated in previous articles, I am by no means trained in psychology, but what I can offer is expertise in handling this feeling.

Figure out why you feel you are not good enough and write out the details. For example, let’s say you feel you are not good enough to deserve a promotion because you don’t think you have mastered all the areas of your current position to move up to the next level. Write out what the requirements are for that position you want. Next, write down what skills you currently possess. Then, evaluate the two. Chances are, your fears of not being good enough will be squashed once you see you are good enough, or better.

Change feelings of inadequacy into facts. Get real with your thoughts of doubt. Take back the control.

Stop living in not good enough. Be confident.

Quick Confidence Boosters.

Need a quick boost? Try these, because they work!

  1. Celebrate small wins
  2. Revisit past successes
  3. Power pose
  4. Dress nicely
  5. Think positive
  6. Focus on solutions
  7. Smile
  8. Exercise

For more on this, read 7 Steps to Take When you Feel Like You are Lacking Confidence.

Confidence is allowed.

There are ways to take back your confidence. There are ways to have personal breakthroughs. I have seen it. I coach it.

You do not have to apologize for being a confident woman.

You are good enough.

You can.


I would love to work with you. Contact me at TheClarks.Consulting@gmail.com.
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7 Steps to Take When You Feel Like You Are Lacking Confidence

Confident woman standing in street smiling
Repeated mistakes.
Drop the ball.
Failure.

Sometimes you just can’t seem to get it together. And for some, you stew over these missteps and errors. You start to feel inadequate, you start to feel less confident.

What do you do when you feel like you are lacking confidence?

Confidence is a key component in your day-to-day activities. If you are feeling less than confident, it shows. The way you act, behave, and even your posture. You project what you feel.

Luckily, there are some easy steps you can take to give yourself a boost.

  1. Celebrate small wins. You might have missed the mark on a recent big project, but don’t let that one misstep overshadow your smaller victories. Set little marks along the way and as you achieve them, be proud. Small wins along the way are building blocks and they can really boost your confidence.
  2. Revisit past successes. You aren’t always going to fail at all your endeavors. Want proof? Revisit your past successes. Look at your track record.
    Quote by Jenny Foss about confidence
  3. Learn from the failure. Increase competence. What did you learn from the experience? Great, now, how can you improve? Determining where you went wrong is ineffective if you do not learn and grow from it. Failure leads to success. You learn from mistakes and you learn about yourself. Top CEOs failed before they became successful. Does Bill Gates ring a bell?
  4. Clear the clutter. Get rid of hindrances. Messy workspace, procrastinating a task, constantly checking social media? Rid yourself of needless distractions and get to work. Stop making excuses.
  5. Dress nicely. Stand Tall. Your appearance has an impact. Not just on how others perceive you, but how you perceive yourself. One of our previous articles (Dressing For Success) spoke on just that. How you dress matters. And so, does your posture. Adopting a commanding posture can immediately help you feel confident and empowered. Stand tall. Sit up straight. Hold your head high.
  6. Empower yourself. Arm yourself with tools to improve. Read. Study. Learn from others. Gather as much as you can get your hands on to catapult you to the next level.
  7. Think positive. Good things cannot come from a negative mindset. You control your attitude. Get rid of negative outlooks. Envision great things that are yet to come.

Confidence definition from dictionary


What has been helpful for you? How can I help? Contact me at TheClarks.Consulting@gmail.com or connect with us on social media! I look forward to hearing from you.

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You Are A Brand. How Do You Want to Be Seen? You Are A Brand.

Brand on laptop

Did you know you are a brand? An actual walking billboard advertising yourself. Eek!

Your personal brand is important.

This goes far beyond the way you dress. It is how you hold yourself. It is your lifestyle. It is who you associate with. It is what you post on social media. It is every nook and cranny. It’s things you might not even think about. It is how clean you keep your car!

According to Wikipedia: Personal branding is the practice of people marketing themselves and their careers as brands. While previous self-help management techniques were about self-improvement, the personalbranding concept suggests instead that success comes from self-packaging.

2 circles connected in the middle with the words "Your Personal Brand"Your brand matters because it is what you are projecting to the world. It is what you are telling people about yourself. It is what people think about when your name is mentioned. So, what do you want to be known for? What do you want to improve? What steps can you take to make a mark and developing your brand?

What You Can Do to Develop Your Brand.

First, I suggest setting a clear goal. Know exactly what you want and what you want to be known for. Do you want others to come to you for advice about finance? Do you want to be regarded as confident and a thought leader? What image do you want others to have of you and then find ways to make that happen?

Make it happen. Our next point. Once you have figured out what you want and who you want to be, do it. Stop making excuses. Make plans. I have found it helpful to have a list.  Also, give yourself time frames. Goals are merely words if no game plan is established.

In your face. Ok, maybe not in an obnoxious way, but don’t sit in the corner and keep to yourself. Start becoming an expert in your area of interest. And it is worth repeating, be aware of your online image. There is power in the world-wide web, and that power can ruin your image fast. Make sure you are projecting what you want to be known for. Be mindful of what you are posting.

Knowledge is power written in pink and black letteringKnowledge is power. Read. Study. Educate yourself. As mentioned before, become the expert. Please note, this does not say become the know it all. There is a difference. You don’t want to be that person who monopolizes every conversation. There is a lot to be learned by listening.

Rebrand. Never stop growing. Never stop learning. And if you continue to improve yourself, you will need to rebrand yourself. With growth comes necessary changes.

Dress the part. I said earlier that the way you dress is not the only part of your brand, but it does plays a large role. Make sure you are always presentable. It will just happen to be that day that you phone it in when your biggest client or opportunity comes up and you aren’t presentable.


Tell me what you think! TheClarks.Consulting@gmail.com.

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Career Moves I Wish I Would Have Known Then. 10 Tips that Work!

Woman sitting at table typing on laptop

Three years ago, I started my career completely over. I literally started from scratch. I have learned so much over these last 3 years that I wish I would have known fresh out of college. Seems to me colleges, and high schools are missing some fundamentals in preparing young individuals for the real world, but that is a discussion for another time.

To keep this short and to the point, I have decided we should dive right in. So, here are 10 specific things I have learned these last 3 years that have made monumental impacts in my career.

10 Tips:

  1. Network. Do not get in a rut staying in your cubicle. Meet new people. Go to seminars. Attend workshops. Accept a happy hour invite. Utilize pockets of time to meet others and gain knowledge from their experiences. You never know where connections will take you.
  2. Read. Immerse yourself in current affairs, industry news, personal development, Oprah book club logo. Black circle with white "O" in middle. etc. Some of the wisest and most powerful individuals will tell you that reading is the gateway to growing yourself. Don’t believe me? Here are a few name drops: Oprah Winfrey, Bill Gates, Sheryl Sandberg, Warren Buffet. All avid readers.
  3. Interview. Find people you admire and ask them if they have time to meet with you and tell they why. There could be many reasons why you admire that individual but let them know why you would like to speak with them and have a list of questions ready. And always thank them for taking time out of their day to assist you in your growth.
  4. Try something new. Don’t think you are “qualified” to handle a project? Why not try? Volunteer to help with an initiative and learn. You will never grow if you don’t take on new adventures. Aspire for more.
  5. Put emotions aside immediately. Having a bad day? Leave it at the door. Everyone has a battle they are facing. Everyone is going to have a bad day but if everyone let that affect them, nothing would get done. This does not mean you need to be a robot, this just means work is not your personal soap opera.
  6. Be confident in yourself. You are in your position for a reason. Recognize your Confidence quote in black letters with orange background. amazing capabilities and use those to your advantage – every single day. And be proud of your hard work.
  7. Are we friends? You are not at work to make friends. You are not at work to sit around and gossip. Your job is not to be best liked for the yearbook. Be nice, be cordial, but remember, you are in a professional setting. There is a time and place for everything. And please know this, crying at work doesn’t get you empathy, it gets you a spot very low on the professionalism totem pole.
  8. Slow down. Unless you are an Olympic runner, slow down. Do it right the first time. Have all materials needed before pitching the idea. Proof read before sending the email. Gather all the facts before making a decision. And really take time to think of the outcome of those decisions.
  9. Handshakes. Never underestimate the power of the handshake.
  10. Don’t chew gum. No explanation needed.

Let me know what you think. I would love to hear feedback and other suggestions! TheClarks.Consulting@gmail.com.

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Career Advice: The Importance of the Handshake. Advice, and a Few Tips.

Woman and man shaking hands over paperwork at a table

Do Not Underestimate the Power of the Handshake.

I am certain the incoming generation is unsure about this action. It seems to be confined for those of a certain age, dressed in business attire, working in an office.

People’s hands are so full these days, and a large culprit – cell phone, and eye contact is lacking – looking at cell phone.

Well-Known. Historic. Established. 

What I find delightful is that no matter what language you speak, the handshake is for the most part universally known with very little explanation needed.

A stone carving of King Shalmaneser III of Assyria with a Babylonian King shaking hands“Archaeological ruins and ancient texts show that handshaking was practiced in ancient Greece as far back as the 5th century BC.” You could say it’s been around for some time.

Nowadays, the handshake is a form of a greeting or farewell, an introduction, a well-intended gesture, business transactions, or possibly a truce. Some people are even taught how to have just the right grip and shake. If you look up tips for having a good interview, the handshake is part of that list. And, for your reading pleasure, here is a link about proper handshake etiquette around the world.

Career Advice.

Here’s the advice part, don’t reserve it for interviews only. Handshakes make a very good first impression but also a lasting impression. It has such history, power and importance.

Our suggestion is to make this part of your personal brand. Be known as an individual who conducts themselves respectfully and professionally. The handshake is usually accompanied with a name inquiry and eye contact. If you ask someone their name, remember it. And always look others in the eye. Stand up tall. It doesn’t matter what your job title is, hold yourself as if you command authority.

Handshakes – simple and yet immensely significant.

Woman and man shaking hands - arms only with visibility of suits


Contact me at TheClarks.Consulting@gmail.com for more information or your personal success stories!

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