Career Tip for Women: Being Good Isn’t Good Enough. You Want More, Fight for More!

Women in glasses typing on laptop sitting at large table with whiteboard background

There is a school of thought that says as if you do your job and play nice, your value will be seen and rising in rank inevitable. “Sit still and look pretty.” You will get that promotion and raise. Until recently, I thought this too. I am so thankful for all I have learned in my new career these last 3 years, but also disappointed I didn’t know the basics earlier.

Sitting quietly will only take you so far. Quote about people and success in blue letters and gray background

Do you think the greats of this world sat in their cubicle never voicing their opinions?

Everyone wants to shine, and you are the only person responsible for shining your light. It is not bragging, it is showing what you are capable of. If you think others are singing your praises nonstop, you are leaving your fate in the hands of others.

Don’t worry about hearing “no.”

Think you have an idea that might be good for the business? Share it. Don’t be worried about hearing “no.” Studies have shown that presenting your ideas far outweighs staying quiet. It shows your creativity, initiative, and that you are proactive. If your idea is turned down, you can’t take it personally. Set your feelings aside. It’s just business. And do not stop presenting ideas! Keep bring them to the table.

Network. Network. Network.

Trying to decide whether to go home and lounge on the couch or that networking event? Little tip, you are missing a lot of insight and knowledge that can’t be learned from a book or webinar. You don’t have to go out every night after work, but you should attend at least 2 a month. And don’t forget your business cards.

Ask advice and seek feedback.

Once again, there are some things you can’t learn from books.

Ask advice from those who have more experienced than you. Their life lessons are invaluable. Their wisdom is priceless.

And always be open to feedback. Seek it. Sometimes you cannot see your blind spots. Being open to receiving constructive criticism is largely beneficial for your personal and professional growth. It might be hard to hear but take it as a compliment that someone only wants to help you improve.

Sit up straight. Stand tall.

There is much to be said in correct posture. Don’t slouch.

Ladies, don’t sit idly by hoping for the best. Make it happen, but also remember, you are a professional, act like one.


Do you have a success story? Share with me at TheClarks.Consulting@gmail.com

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Women, Master Your Confidence!

Woman smiling in sweater

Why do so many women lack confidence?

If you ask those around you, you might find similar answers to that question. They feel like frauds, like they aren’t good enough, they don’t possess the skills and abilities, they are they compare, they are perfectionists.

Everyone is different and all facing unique challenges, but as a whole, why do women let their confidence sink so drastically?

From authors Claire Shipman and Katty Kay of The Confidence Code:

For years, we women have kept our heads down and played by the rules. We’ve been certain that with enough hard work, our natural talents would be recognized and rewarded.

Would you say you can relate to that statement?

The problem is, keeping your head down and always playing by the rules leaves little room for standing up in the boardroom presenting your ideas. Meek does not command a room.

Women need to start taking action and changing what has been ingrained in them for so long.

First let’s address 3 vocabulary no nos.

Stop saying “sorry,” “can’t,” and “just.”

“I’m Sorry.” I wrote an article on this that you can find here. Basically, by always saying “sorry”, you portray you are not confident and unsure about your expertise. There is no need to start sentences with “I’m sorry” unless you are actually sorry for some sort of wrongdoing. Communicate with confidence.

Communicate with confidence.

“I can’t.” That is one quick way to diminish yourself and your abilities. Stop telling yourself it can’t be done, that you can’t accomplish x, y, and z. Replace “can’t” with the word “will” and notice a change in your mindset.

“Just.” This is another subtle word that undermines your confidence. It is also a filler word. It takes up space, has little value, and weakens your message.

The Comparison Trap.

Very dangerous territory here. Have you heard the quote, “comparison is the thief of joy”?

In the right context, comparison is helpful, but an unhealthy amount will only rob you of many joys, one being confidence.

Focus on your strengths. On your skills. On your successes. If there is an area you need to make improvements on, find ways to do so. Redirect the energy spent comparing yourself to others and use that time to develop yourself.

Recognize comparison triggers. Are you comparing your current professional status to a peer? Why? Do they receive recognition from others that you would like as well? Ask yourself why, then dissect your answer. Get to the root and once you have that answer, find a solution. Your coworker is constantly getting praised because of their successful business practices, so what best practices can you start incorporating?

Not Good Enough.

You might even feel it right now. That you aren’t good enough.

More than 80% of women believe they aren’t good enough. That is a high percentage.

There is usually an underlying reason. Digging to the root of that can be time-consuming, and as I have stated in previous articles, I am by no means trained in psychology, but what I can offer is expertise in handling this feeling.

Figure out why you feel you are not good enough and write out the details. For example, let’s say you feel you are not good enough to deserve a promotion because you don’t think you have mastered all the areas of your current position to move up to the next level. Write out what the requirements are for that position you want. Next, write down what skills you currently possess. Then, evaluate the two. Chances are, your fears of not being good enough will be squashed once you see you are good enough, or better.

Change feelings of inadequacy into facts. Get real with your thoughts of doubt. Take back the control.

Stop living in not good enough. Be confident.

Quick Confidence Boosters.

Need a quick boost? Try these, because they work!

  1. Celebrate small wins
  2. Revisit past successes
  3. Power pose
  4. Dress nicely
  5. Think positive
  6. Focus on solutions
  7. Smile
  8. Exercise

For more on this, read 7 Steps to Take When you Feel Like You are Lacking Confidence.

Confidence is allowed.

There are ways to take back your confidence. There are ways to have personal breakthroughs. I have seen it. I coach it.

You do not have to apologize for being a confident woman.

You are good enough.

You can.


I would love to work with you. Contact me at TheClarks.Consulting@gmail.com.
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Women – Stop Saying “I’m Sorry”

Black and white comic drawing of woman winking and words saying "sorry not sorry"

“I’m sorry.” How many times a day do you think you say those two words? Ever stop to think about it? I am going to challenge you to a little experiment. Take notice of how many times you say you are sorry. I guarantee it you apologize for things you don’t even need to apologize for! I am serious. Try it tomorrow and report back.

Generally speaking, every time you say you are sorry, you are admitting a fault, right? You have made some sort of error that now warrants an admission of wrongdoing. But what about things that are just flat-out ridiculous to apologize for? Below is a list from Greatist of 7 things you should absolutely stop apologizing for and I agree with every single one of them:

  • Telling the truthwomen say i'm sorry too much
  • Your feelings
  • Appearance
  • Me time
  • Asking a question
  • Other people’s behavior
  • Not responding immediately to a text, call, or email
  • Circumstances you can’t control

Hey, if I accidentally bump into you while you have your drink in your hand and you spill it all over your shirt, I honestly do feel bad, and yes, I will say I am sorry. And if I have wronged you, I will own that. But apologizing for not having a great hairdo that day, no. And don’t even get me started on being made to feel guilty for having some me time. Do you know what message you are sending by always saying “I’m sorry?” You are saying to others that you are not confident, you are unsure, you are timid. Ugh.

By the by, would you like to know who the biggest culprit is in all these apologies? Women. It’s like women have this need to apologize, thinking that by doing so, people will like them better. Here’s the mentality: “If I say I am sorry, then it makes me look sincere and caring, and not too bossy, then I will be accepted and liked.” Heaven forbid women don’t play the dainty, polite, little lady, who sits quietly in the corner as to not disturb anyone. Amy Schumer nailed it in a sketch titled I’m Sorry. “For many women, our default is to apologize without even realizing it.” Which brings me to my earlier question: How many times a day do you think you say “I’m sorry?”

stop saying sorry

The flip side to this epidemic is it is fixable. You just need to rewire your way of brain a bit. Tweaks here and there. Make yourself aware. Listen to yourself in conversations. Replace “I’m sorry for bothering you, but…,” with, “When you have a free moment, can we speak?” Replace “I’m sorry.” Find other ways to communicate your message. Have some confidence in yourself!

No, you are NOT sorry.


Contact me at TheClarks.Consulting@gmail.com

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